Happy Holidays

You read that right. I actually said it. I’d like to take a moment to defend this humble greeting—though God knows why it needs defending.

Happy Holidays is awesome. It’s like the e pluribus unum of greetings, the most pragmatic thing you can say this time of year. I always liked it—even as a kid—because it covers all your bases. Happy Holidays is the ultimate condensed seasonal greeting, like saying HOPE-YOU-HAD-A-GOOD-THANKSGIVING-ENJOY-CHRISTMAS-AND-HAPPY-NEW-YEAR’S in two very simple words. More importantly, it just sounds better than Season’s Greetings. I never liked that one. Give me two hard H’s any day.

Then there’s the whole multicultural aspect. America has always had Jews kicking around, which was good because it reminded the rest of us that there are other religions here besides ours. I didn’t learn much about Hindus or Muslims or Buddhists growing up (well, maybe a little, but I never met any until I was much older). Having Jews around was good practice for when I grew up and got to know people of many faiths.

Which is the part that puzzles me. Some people are actually angry that Happy Holidays is so useful, that you can say it to anybody and it covers all your bases. That isn’t political correctness, friends. That’s called being polite. Maybe you should try it sometime.

But the truth is, even if you stick to ‘Merry Christmas’ (or whatever your flavor is), very few people are going to be offended because they know that just by saying that, you are trying to be nice. Richard Dawkins isn’t offended by ‘Merry Christmas.’ That has got to be some kind of Christmas miracle. Like many people, he loves being offended by what goes on in other folk’s heads.

When I started the Quantum Rumba, I more or less decided that I should stay away from politics. I felt an exception in this case because frankly, this shouldn’t even be political.

So Happy Holidays.

What's really weird is that "holidays" itself is derived from 'holy days,' which is clearly an acknowledgement of  the sacred nature of the time, but I left that out of my main argument because semantics are the doldrums of philosophy (you can spend all your time there and never get anywhere).